It’s HOT everywhere in the world right now, and thanks to climate change, ever increasing numbers of emissions, and political leaders that quite simply don’t care, it’s only going to get hotter. With that in mind, I’ve decided to write down all of the things that are hotter than the heatwave. For the record, this is more or less satire, but I hope it cools you off just a little bit. I also promise we will get back to regularly scheduled content as soon as possible! Summer is a busy time for all of us on the team, so posts are coming at a slightly slower frequency which means you end up with (the HIGHEST) quality content such as this.

  1. Angelina Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith during that scene (you know what i’m talking about)
  2. the inside of a chicken nugget when you bite into it immediately out of the oven
  3. Sand on the beach when you’re barefoot and your hands are too full to put on your shoes
  4. Mistakes Were Made, the only spicy romance book I’ve ever read
  5. Wearing oversized pants and a teeny tiny top
  6. Being one of those people with an emotional support water bottle
  7. rings, especially thumb rings
  8. Your BeReal when it goes off at 11:45pm right after you got in bed and took off your makeup but before you turned out the light
  9. septum piercings
  10. the “feels like” temperature once you factor in humidity and the stunning lack of wind
  11. Robert Downey Jr, especially as Iron Man but also as Dr. Doolittle
  12. visible tattoos
  13. iced coffee drinkers
  14. the sun, probably
  15. Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft
  16. supporting indie media like write through the night and also other feminist publications
  17. the 7th circle of hell
  18. honesty
  19. the internal body temperature of a hummingbird
  20. voting in the upcoming 2022 election and primary cycle
  21. my AC unit after working too hard and burning itself out
  22. intentionally setting up your mirror so that you can stare at yourself as you have a full mental breakdown
  23. remembering to take your meds
  24. adding way too much hot sauce to every single meal and then calling it seasoning
  25. going out with friends even though you’d rather stay curled up in a ball in bed, because you know you’ll feel better once you’re out
  26. staying curled up in a ball in bed because that’s what you want to do and fuck anyone who tries to convince you otherwise
  27. Angelina Jolie slouched over a chair in Girl, Interrupted, doing unhinged girl things
  28. sticking out your tongue and making peace signs during said mental breakdown
  29. having mental breakdowns in general
  30. the cast of love island UK
  31. the person who brings seven layer dip to the party
  32. eating diy seven layer dip (guac, salsa, chips, queso, spinach, beans, cheese) for dinner because you don’t have to cook anything and it hits every food group
  33. questioning all authority
  34. fighting systems of oppression designed to keep rich straight cis white men on top
  35. planning out what you’ll do in retirement despite knowing you have another 30 years at least before you get there
  36. Angelina Jolie
  37. adding me on goodreads, letterboxd, instagram and twitter
  38. adding Write Through the Night on instagram and twitter
  39. not giving a fuck what other people think is hot
  40. you, the reader of this very chaotic article
  41. My girlfriend (who will not read this post but still deserves a shoutout)