I recently watched Uncharted, the action movie starring Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg and based on the video game of the same name. I was going to write a review, but the movie was so bad that I honestly couldn’t come up with anything that needed to be said. At the end of the day, the only comment that I have on the movie is: don’t watch it.
Luckily for me, there were Letterboxd reviewers who put their humor to use in order to more accurately portray this movie than I ever could. Because of that, I’ve decided to share __ of the best reviews for Uncharted that I could find. To stay on top of my movie watching life, make sure to follow me on Letterboxd, and follow all of the people linked below for more reviews.
Brian wanted to make sure he saved you all the time. If you’re a fan of Sara Bareilles, you should just go put the song on repeat for two hours instead.
Jack Bool said all that there was to say about this movie. Mark Wahlberg had the best line in the movie, and now you’ve read it in this review and there’s no need to continue.
Mark Wahlberg (who famously said he could have stopped 9/11) is not a great person. He wasn’t great in this movie either, which means you can get the same Wahlberg experience from both real life or the movie, and if you choose real life you could play Uncharted the video game and watch Spider-Man while you’re at it. At least, that’s Tripp Carrington‘s recommendation.
Emma managed to put the words “this sucked” into a rather sweet sentence. Impressive, really. More impressive than this movie was.
If you want to know the level of action ridiculousness in this movie, look no further than ZaraGwen. There were so many scenes where even my action-loving brother said “that’s impossible”. It was that absurd.
Aidan didn’t even have to piss. But he did desperately need to escape how bad Uncharted was.
Gabby! has a very relatable point when she says that normally, the main characters in video games die… a lot. ~spoiler~ but Nate doesn’t die even once. Honestly, embarrassing acting from Tom Holland. Doesn’t he know to respawn at the checkpoint?
I would second Diamondbolt in saying that this movie would have been infinitely better if Sully, who had a mustache in the SECOND postcredit scene, had his mustache for the whole movie. It really fit the character.
To sum it all up, MarMar stated what everyone was thinking. Playing the video game was a far better experience than this movie ever could be.
Don’t let anyone say I’m not an optimist. Morgan and I would like to leave you with a positive review. The cat was great.