The third season of The L Word: Generation Q is upon us, and I’m here recapping every single episode. From the epic rekindling of everyone’s favorite (or least favorite) romance and the slow crumbling of the hottest couple in the show, to one bisexual’s journey towards a series relationship, I will be talking about every key moment and giving you all a chance to chat about it in the comments.

Welcome to episode 2! I must admit that I’m a bit upset about the timing of this season’s episode releases. It’s difficult for me to find time to write recaps around the holiday season, especially given that without screeners, I’m under pressure to watch the episode and write this post immediately when the episode drops on Showtime. Nonetheless, I’m just so happy that the show is back on TV! I love gay friend groups!

We pick up right where we left off, with Angie bursting on on Tina and Bette as they rekindle their romance for what feels like the millionth time. As her moms stumble over an explanation of what is happening, Angie just sighs. She’s over her dramatic moms and says that she’s going to give them her privacy. Angie walks out, and I can’t believe they just let her go! It was her first day at college and she’s already coming back home— clearly something is going on.

Bette and Tina are more concerned with their own drama, as always. Bette says that they can talk to her tomorrow night at Marcus’s gallery opening, and Tina wants to know what exactly they’re going to tell their teenage daughter about what she just saw. The one thing they can both agree on is that this feels VERY REAL and Bette drags Tina to her bedroom to continue what they started.

After 13 long years, we get the moment we’ve all been waiting for… a Tibette sex scene!! Say what you want about the couple, but the only place they aren’t on two absolute different pages is in the bedroom. Bette fucks Tina, and then Tina flips the script and tops Bette. It’s hot. It’s everything we want in a sex scene.

Cut to the intro screen!

We find ourselves back with the couple formerly thought of as emotionally mature having another relatively emotionally IMmature fight. Gigi did in fact talk to Nat, but Nat wants to get to know Dani a bit before she lets the two of them move in together. This makes perfect sense to me! I wouldn’t want my (admittedly nonexistent) children to be living with someone I’ve never even met.

Unfortunately, Dani is not thinking of the children. She is thinking of that time Alice throupled with the couple and then they fucked without her herself, and the fact that she doesn’t feel the need to prove herself to Nat. I personally am not sure how she’s thinking of anything when Gigi has that vest completely unbuttoned like that.

Dani declares “are you dating me or her?” and I declare myself team Gigi.

On the other side of town, Shane is waking up from a long slumber as Tess kisses her stomach. It may appear that Tess wants to have sex, but actually she just wants to know whether Shane has decided that they can get that second bar yet.

They own the only lesbian bar in town, so why not make it two! After all, the reason that they’re the only lesbian bar in all of Los Angeles is surely a sign that there’s a hole in the market, and not that THE MARKET DOES NOT EXIST. Shane says that she needs time, and tries to pivot into sex, but Tess gets a phone call from her real estate agent that she absolutely must take.

Inside the House of Millennial Relationship Disasters, Finley is building an easel in the living room. Sophie comes downstairs looking cute and happy, then proceeds to make fun of Finley for wanting to host a game night before pulling herself together and getting on board with the idea. I love a good alcohol-free night of fun!

It won’t all be fun though, because as Finley goes to invite Micah, Sophie shouts that it should be just the two of them. Why?

“Maribel hates you,” Sophie announces with the confidence of someone who does not care about her girlfriend’s feelings or her sister’s.

Finley walks away to process, and Maribel pokes her head in the door. She heard everything, and she’s NOT attending game night. Sophie begs, and she finally relents.

Alice and Shane are midday drinking at Shess’s first child, aka Dana’s. Apparently Bette and Tina had texted them asking if they could all get together, but they weren’t using the group chat and they were being suspicious about the reasoning for the meetup, so Alice is ready for the goss. 

Bette and Tina walk into the bar HOLDING HANDS and it’s all very adorable. Alice and Shane are delighted that their moms are back together, and they all sit down to talk about it. Shane, as the only one who cares about Angie in this group, wants to know if they’ve told their daughter.

They haven’t talked to her since she burst in the night before, and they don’t even know why she came home. Shane does, though. She tells them that Jordi broke up with Angie and Bette immediately jumps to bashing Jordi. I love the supportiveness. Now that they broke up, Bette claims she never liked Jordi, and everyone tells her to take a deep breath and not come at the 17 year old.

Alice thinks Angie will be happy, because it’s every child of divorce’s dream— or at least her own— to have their parents get back together. Alice also shares that she is bringing a Marvel/DC actress to the gallery opening on a date, and then name drops Jojo Siwa before leaving to answer the phone. Nobody else at the table knows who that is, and the trio make fun of Alice for being in her own little world. This is the friendship I love to see! It feels so real and it’s what makes The L Word a great show to begin with.

Night has fallen, and it’s time for Pictionary Game Night! Micah and Maribel have rather adorable banter about who’s going to be better at Pictionary, and I think the couple has worked out their baby vs. marriage debacle from the episode prior.

We find out that’s completely untrue, though, because Finley bursts into the room and immediately sticks her foot in her mouth. She’s so excited to congratulate the happy couple on getting ready to have a baby! She can’t wait to see a combination of their genes, oh wait, they will have to choose whose genes to use, how unfortunate!

What’s even more unfortunate is that Maribel didn’t want Sophie to share the baby news with Finley, and Micah hasn’t even said yes about having a baby yet. The night is already off to a terrible start, and I cannot stop cringing whenever Finley speaks.

In preparation for the gallery opening, Dani and Bette go over the last minute details. Just like Dani ran the MS Fundraiser, she’s also running the gallery opening. Her events business is becoming super successful, so much so that she got a Vogue exclusive set up for Bette. It’s a great opportunity for both of them, and Bette agrees to do the interview.

After that’s settled, Dani wants to ask about Gigi. She needs advice on the Nat/parenting situation, and Bette reminds her that Gigi is not in fact prioritizing Nat, she’s prioritizing her family. She asks if Dani is ready to be a parent, and we can see Dani’s gears turning as she considers what all of that means.

Despite the earlier debacle, we do in fact get to start the Pictionary game. Sophie and Finley are up first and Finley alternates between guessing what Sophie is drawing and interjecting her own opinions into Maribel and Micah’s argument. Micah wants to know if Maribel ever thought that he might want to carry, and when we learn that he does not (he just wanted to point out that Maribel never thought about him) every original viewer of The L Word lets out a collective sigh of relief at not having to endure another terribly bungled plot line.

I’m so sad that my favorite couple Maribel and Micah are fighting, and just think everything would be so much better if Sophie and Finley weren’t around!

At Marcus’s gallery opening, Angie is talking to Marcus’s family. Bette comes up to ask if she can talk to her later, and Angie says yes, before telling Kayla all about the debacle of the night before. Kayla is the supportive friend that we all need after a breakup and she encourages Angie to live her best life.

It’s hoe phase Angie coming at us in 2022!

Elsewhere at the opening, Alice and her date, Asia (Jules Willcox), are hanging out. The woman is constantly talking about herself and her fame before inviting Alice to an invite-only rec league later. As she goes off to put MORE ICE IN HER WINE (appalling), Alice scampers over to ask Shane her opinion. Shane sees all of the red flags that Alice is trying to ignore, but the two get distracted by the way Shane is looking at the waitress bringing them apps.

Alice knows that Shane has the “itch” where she needs to “wiggle” out of a relationship, and Shane vehemently denies it. The woman has been getting texts from Ivy/Kehlani all night and ignoring them! That is not the behavior of a woman with an itch!

Tragically for all of the viewers actually enjoying this episode, we’re back playing Pictionary. Micah is drawing blobs and Maribel is guessing everything except whatever that blob is actually supposed to be. Finley (while looking cute curled up on Sophie) suggests that the two have a team huddle, but Maribel doesn’t think they need team spirit. They need to have a good chat, right here in the middle of game night.

This proves to be difficult, because Sophie is unable to shut up and let the two of them speak without interjecting every 3 seconds. Nonetheless, we find out that Micah wants to slow the relationship down (a very common emotion for a man who has just proposed), he hasn’t told his parents they’re dating, and they’ve been living together for 8 MONTHS!

Maribel is confused and so am I, but not about the same thing. How have Maribel and Finley so rarely come into contact with each other when they live in the same home? Where was she for all of episode 1? Oh, and to get back to Maribel’s point, why hasn’t Micah told his mom yet?

In the cutest scene I have ever seen in my entire life, Bette approaches Tina at the gallery opening and they reenact their first ever meeting. For readers who have not seen the original L Word multiple times, this is when Tina loses her earring and Bette pulls it out of her hair. Although Bette sees Tina put it back in, Tina sneakily left the earring at the gallery so that she had an excuse to come back later. This time, Tina goes in for a kiss right away and the two make out at the gallery. They are so cute and in love! I am ready for this time to be different!

As they flit off through the gallery, we zoom on on Dani in the background, who is calling Gigi to apologize and say that she hopes she can come to the opening. Gigi listens to this message on her way into their house, and I’m happy to see that Dani has pulled it together and is ready to become the hottest live-in couple the L Word has ever seen.

Bettina finally pulls it together enough to talk to their daughter, and Angie is un-phased. “No shit” they’re together. She literally saw them making out. A young man comes up to tell Bette how much he idolizes her, and the man’s (hot) friend Hendrix takes the opportunity to flirt with Angie. In doing so, he makes fun of the curator, who Angie shares is actually her mom. The boy is embarrassed, and I feel for him. Angie seems into it though!

For some reason Sophie and Micah take an opportunity to head to the kitchen and leave their at-odds significant others alone in the living room. Finley takes the opportunity to immediately give Maribel advice, which is always the go to way to mend burnt bridges with someone who hates you and your opinions. Finley, as we know, has a bad relationship with her mom, and she thinks Micah might be in the same boat.

Maribel is unamused, and shares that she much preferred the person Sophie was fucking while Finley was in sober living! And that’s a wrap on game night, folks.

Sophie goes upstairs to apologize to Finley… for Maribel! It seems to me like it isn’t really Maribel who is important here, but alas. Other inconsistencies I’d like to know about is why Dre, who Sophie was seeing long enough to let them meet her sister, is texting her “u up *rainbow emoji*” and also didn’t realize that she was waiting for Finley to come back.

Finley is understandably hurt, and Sophie is confused given that Finley literally gave her permission. I’m hurt that we finally get a nonbinary love interest and they’re not even on the screen. The toxic couple argue some more, and Finley finally says that she understands that she put herself in the situation, but right now it feels like it’s Sophie hurting her so she needs space. This makes sense to me, but not to Sophie, who storms out of the room.

Finley takes this opportunity to call Tess, who is too busy to talk but promises to call Finley back first thing in the morning.

We see that the Zakarian sign is still in the gallery (callback!) and then Tess finally arrives at the gallery to find Shane. She apologizes for being late, and Shane says it’s okay because she’s ready to buy the second bar! It turns out Alice calling Shane out on her nervous energy really backfired, and Shane decided to double down on her commitment. Because that’s always gone so well in the past!

It’s time for Bette’s speech, in which she calls out institutional racism, family, and how she doesn’t want to wait for love. Shane’s phone buzzes with a text that’s presumably also from Ivy, and Dani checks her phone to see if Gigi has replied. She hasn’t.

Alice and Asia continue chatting, but it goes awry when Asia brings up her lifestyle group that she needs Alice to join. This pyramid scheme is clearly NXIVM, and Alice downs the rest of her drink nervously as any self-respecting micro celebrity would.

Micah and Maribel are in their own room having an emotionally mature conversation that comes as a relief after the rest of the evening. Everything has been a lot, but Micah is in fact ready to have a baby with Maribel and I cannot wait!

Finley is deeply in sleep when Sophie comes to bed, but as she pulls back the covers she sees that Finley left her an absolutely adorable little note. This makes Sophie happy, and it makes me happy too because as much as I complain, I love love and these two are the cutest when they’re not busy being absolutely insufferable. Soph wakes Finley up and they cuddle and laugh and Finley shares that she’s insecure about when Sophie chose her. They’re really cute together in this scene and I wish it would just stay that way.

Back in reunion bliss, Tina shares that she’s extremely proud of Bette and she plans on sharing that a lot more often. Bette takes this as an opportunity to ask Tina to stay in LA with her. Tina is not happy with this! It’s the exact same reason that they broke up the second time (or maybe the third?); Bette only values her own career and not Tina’s.

At that moment, Tina’s car pulls up and she leaves, breaking them up yet again.

Shane, Alice, and Tess were closely monitoring the situation, and they swoop in to pick up Bette’s pieces. She’s crying, and I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that Jennifer Beals as emotional Bette is truly the best part of The L Word as a whole. Bette shares that she asked Tina to stay and Tina took that as asking her to give up her whole life, which Bette supposes that she was. Alice suggests that maybe, if she wants to be with Tina, she should just… go.

As if this has never once occurred to Bette in her entire life, she leaps on Alice with excitement and the crew launches into action, rounding up Angie and sprinting out to the car.

They find her in the parking lot flirting with aforementioned boy, and tell her she needs to hurry up and drive. Hendrix wants to swap numbers but the squad tells her that they don’t have time for that. They do, however, have time for Angie to make out with Hendrix in front of her ENTIRE FAMILY. As she slides into the car, Shane heckles her about who that was (“it didn’t look like nobody”) and Dani comes up to tell Bette she absolutely cannot leave before the Vogue interview.

It wouldn’t be a Bette Porter move if she wasn’t screwing at least somebody over, and she leaves Dani in the dust to go find the love of her life.

We enter a semi-montage scene flashing between three cars. In one, Gigi is listening to music and driving to the gallery opening. In another, Tina is popping in some noise cancelling airpods and listening to Meditation Daily. In the third, the whole crew is begging Angie to drive faster and repeatedly trying to call Tina’s cell. I’m cheering for all of them, get your girl! Get your relaxation! Get your wife!

Gigi gets a text from Dani saying “fuck bette porter” and picks up her phone to reply. Texting while driving is a big no no, and now we see why. The hottest character that The L Word has ever seen gets hit by a car and goes flying! Thousands of hearts (most especially Dani’s) are broken.

The accident was not in vain, however, because the crash causes a huge traffic backup. Bette and co see Tina’s car a few ahead of them, and they urge Bette to get out and run for her. Bette eulogies Shane Alice and Angie (ignoring Tess lol) and leaps out of the vehicle, sprinting alongside cars in a scene straight out of Imagine Me & You. She finally reaches Tina’s car and bangs on the window. Despite still being IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, Tina simply rolls down her window and proceeds to have an argument.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you”

“Forever”

Bette Porter

I am in love with this couple when things are working out. Stable couple relationships are so freaking cute, and although we didn’t actually get that, our faves coming back together and working things out is everything I could want. Bette asks to come with Tina and she finally relents, opening the door to let Bette in, where they leap on top of each other and immediately start making out.

GAHHHH

At the gallery, Dani’s Vogue guy says that he can’t promise a future interview, and then she gets a call from Nat. This hits especially hard because just a day before, a call from Nat would have immediately alerted Dani that something is wrong. Instead, she answers the phone ready to have a chat about getting to know each other better, and Nat immediately hits her with the news– Gigi was in a car crash, and Dani needs to come, now.

And that’s the episode!