The third season of The L Word: Generation Q is upon us, and I’m here recapping every single episode. Whether it be the epic rekindling of everyone’s favorite (or least favorite) romance, the return of The One, or a skinny dip I personally manifested, I will be talking about every key moment and giving you all a chance to chat about it in the comments.

It’s the second to last day of the year, and we’re back! Before we begin, I’d like to happily announce that I unironically LOVED this episode of The L Word. Take that as you will, but I’m taking it as a great sign for the last few episodes of the season and a potential renewal. The “last week on” catches us up on all of the characters we ignored whilst in last week’s musical, and then we launch into the episode.

Finley is storming out of her house, ostensibly immediately following Sophie breaking up with her, and visions of herself drinking flash through her mind. For the love of the gods please do not give us a relapse storyline! Finley does the right thing and tries to call Tess, and when she doesn’t answer she dials Shane.

Shane does answer, but she can’t help either, because she’s on her way to Vegas with Tess. Tess must really be going through it right now given that she’s traveling to her mom’s funeral with her maybe ex; Finley understands this and doesn’t want to be a burden. Instead, she scrolls through her phone and finds the one other person she feels like she can call— Carrie!

This is delightful, I am so glad to see her back.

Over at the House of Literally-All-The-Young-People, Micah is cooking, Dani is wandering about, and Sophie is icing her boobs with two bags of peas. Apparently, her version of post-breakup coping is getting her nipples pierced. I love this for her. 

Through a bit of exposition, we find out that the Fletcher album release party is tonight and everyone is invited. Sophie is of course planning on coming, although she stutters a bit when she finds out that Dre is invited. Micah, on the other hand, isn’t sure yet. He desperately wants to meet Fletcher, but he hasn’t been able to convince Maribel. 

Micah, if you really want to go to the party, you can go even if Maribel doesn’t! I love how this show can spend an entire episode creating a Sinley codependent relationship and then ignore the Micabel one that actually exists.

Sophie shares that she’s feeling “a little numb about [the breakup] right now”, and proceeds to show Dani her nipple piercings. Queer friendship!

Over at The Alice Show, Tom is arriving in style, and by style I mean banging his head against a glass door that doesn’t open. Alice is looking gorgeous in this pastel yellow suit, and she’s ready to talk with Tom. The two hadn’t seen each other since he proposed on the top of the Eiffel Tower, but luckily it’s not nearly as awkward as either of the two of them thought it would be.

Unfortunately, part of the reason it’s not awkward is that Tom thinks Alice called him to talk about Book 2. He’s there with “notes and everything”! 

Then we head over to California University, home to the most toxic teacher/student relationships in Porter-family history. Angie made Hendrix a chapbook, and she’s packing it in the overnight bag she’s taking to the hotel. Bella helpfully provides Angie with an entire box of condoms, and says the word (s?) “POV” unironically out loud. 

I am once again asking the Gen Q writers to PLEASE hire someone from Gen-Z to read over your script. Bella speaks like an SNL skit making fun of 15 year old “millennials”. (If you’re reading this and need someone, I am available; as a zillenial, I feel that this is my duty)

Finley’s making lasagne at Carries, or what could better be described as a dish of char. Finley is devastated, taking this as a sign that she can’t do anything right. Carrie, who is the type of sponsor Finley really should have had all along, comforts Finley. The burnt dish is not a character flaw, it’s just that the oven was too hot!

Carrie can tell that Finley needs to get out of the house, and invites her to join her bowling league for that night.

My delight at this scene only increases when Finley suggests going back to “the bungalow” to get her non-slip shoes. I’m not sure if we’ve always known that the house is called the “bungalow”, but I just learned it and I will most certainly be using it. Ever the voice of logic, Carrie states that under no circumstances will Finley be going back to see Sophie today.

Finley agrees to use the rented shoes (with disinfectant, of course) and Carrie heads off to call Misty and let her know the plans.

Alice still hasn’t gotten around to explaining the misunderstanding to Tom, and he’s monologuing about the two book deal he sees in Alice’s future. She tries to interrupt him multiple times, but he’s on a roll. Before she can confess her undying love, Tom hears a cat meow and Alice is delighted! She knew there was a cat in the building, but nobody believed her! In fact, a PA thought it was a ghost, so they “spent half the day, like, looking for an eco-friendly spirit removal service” which turned out to be a scam. 

While watching this episode, my own cats were meowing quite loudly and as a result I could not distinguish any cat meowing on my television program, but I will trust Tom and Alice and also my subtitles, which indicate a “loud meowing”.

Then we head to the bungalow! Maribel is sick and tired of looking at donors, and honestly I feel like this is a pretty shitty way to behave to Micah, who is probably having some of his own feelings about not producing sperm given the fact that he is trans. But alas! We will never explore the feelings of trans people on this show, because why would we do that when we could characterize the only disabled character as a bitch!

Micah suggests that they take a break and go out to the party tonight. They can get drunk, have sloppy sex, and connect like real live people. Maribel doesn’t seem on board, but when Sophie walks through the kitchen on her way to get her hair done— adamantly NOT for Dre— Maribel decides that they should, in fact, go to the party.

After her nap, of course.

Representation for sleepy people!

It’s time for the album party, and Dani is super happy to see that Dre has arrived. She immediately treats it like a work event, and Dre rolls with the punches. Dani wants them to meet Fletcher, and Sophie so that they can get on The Alice Show. Dre makes a joke about having already “connected” with Sophie, which I personally think is hilarious but Dani does not. She wants to know if Dre is actually serious about their career!

Dre says they are, and Dani proceeds to clean a stain off of Dre’s shirt, “professionally”. They are so hot together that I NEED their relationship to happen. I can practically feel the chemistry through my laptop screen. If Dre chooses Sophie, I will never forgive either of them.

FORESHADOWING: Dani heads off to check on the pool bar, and Dre asks what time they’ll be skinny dipping. 

Up next is bowling league, and Misty has her hands all over Carrie as she tries to help her bowl straight. I am loving the butch for butch relationship representation! They’re both so hot! Unfortunately, Carrie rolls an absolute gutterball and then deletes the essay Finley wrote to send to Sophie. Finley snaps about “falling in love with the plumber”, and there’s a Candace joke in here somewhere but I can’t quite get to it. It doesn’t matter anyways, because Carrie is adamant that they’re just friends.

She doesn’t want to ask Misty out, and both Finley and I are equally devastated by this news. She’s so hot and bowls strikes on every other throw! What a catch! 

Angie and Hendrix have made it to the hotel, and the grown man is stressed about his reading that night. Angie offers to iron his shirt and provides him with a very high level of emotional support. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I can honestly barely write this recap without screaming and clawing my eyes out.

The only thing that would save me now is if they’re in Vegas for the reading (they’re not) and Shane shows up and punches him (she won’t).

Angie gives Hendrix the chapbook, and then they start to make out. Presumably, they have sex here, but I blacked out. 

When I come to, we’re back at the Fletcher album release party and Micah is talking to a hot Asian boy named Michael. The two have some banter about their names and personalities being so similar, and I lowkey ship them despite both having partners.

Sophie also shows up at the party, and apparently getting her hair done meant straightening it and dying it more blonde, because that is what has happened. I am not a fan, but a pretty girl in a red dress is, because she compliments Sophie and stares at her in a way that SCREAMS “looking for a third”.

They don’t have time to talk, because Dre sees Sophie and calls her name. Dre didn’t even realize that Sophie worked at the Alice Show, and Sophie jokes that they didn’t do much talking. Dre remembers, though— when they were dating, Sophie was making a documentary! This is the first I’ve heard of this, but I assume it was an offseason project.

Nicole Wilder/SHOWTIME.

Elsewhere, Dani is chatting with Fletcher, and Micah is asking Maribel if they can ask hot boy Michael for his sperm. Micah thinks that Michael is exactly like him, but clearly Maribel has never seen season 1 of The L Word, because she doesn’t think a party is the appropriate place to solicit sperm. Finally she agrees, and Micah heads off to get her another drink. 

We’re still at the party, but Dre and Sophie have found a couch to sit on and talk. Sophie is clearly already a bit drunk, and after sharing that she broke up with Finley, she kisses Dre! I scream in horror, because #Drani #Dare for life, but thank god they are not into it. They’re into someone else!

Sophie heads off to the bar to order a triple shot of alcohol and get trashed, a clear sign that Finley is the only one on this show who has a bad relationship with alcohol. In the background, Dre and Dani laugh and flirt together.

At bowling, Finley is talking Misty’s ear off as she desperately tries to escape the situation. Misty already knows Finley’s entire life story, because Carrie always talks about her, and she doesn’t need to hear it again. Finley takes the opportunity to hype up Carrie’s better qualities, which do not include bowling. She can’t stay subtle for long, though, because she immediately tells Misty that Carrie is into her. Misty says that Carrie’s not her type, and Carrie overhears this, causing her to march out of the alley.

Tom and Alice are still trying to find the cat caught in the vent. Tom reaches his hand in to grab it, but it runs away before he can catch it.

“Did we miss it?” Alice asks.

Yes, they did miss the cat, but Alice is talking about their relationship. She wants to know if they should try again, but Tom is seeing someone knew. And she’s pregnant.

Nicole Wilder/SHOWTIME.

At the book reading, Hendrix is reading this absurdly pseudo-sexual excerpt directly to Angie. She loves it and is genuinely happy for him afterwards. They hug, and then Steven Chavez of the CAA (creative artists agency) comes over to introduce himself. Hendrix is overwhelmed and excited, and introduces Angie as a “student” of his. Yikes.

Micah and Maribel are chatting with Michael, and they seem to be getting on brilliantly. Maribel is convinced, and she asks him to be the sperm donor. He takes a minute to register what is happening, but is excited at the opportunity. All he has to do is talk to his wife, but if she’s on board with it and doesn’t plan on calling Maribel 100 times to scream at her about genes, then he’ll do it. 

The party is in full swing, and Sophie is posing dramatically for her personal polaroid strip. Girlie is trashed! The red dress girl from the beginning crashes into Sophie, and they flirt. I cannot tell if this was intentional on her part, but I kind of feel like it was. Regardless, Sophie is into it and offers to get her another drink.

Nicole Wilder/SHOWTIME.

Finley feels terrible about ruining everything for Carrie, but after fucking up the lasagne she just had to do something good. My heart breaks for Carrie in this scene, because it was “enough for her” to just be with Misty for a couple of hours, and now is going to quit the whole league in shame. Finley offers to fix it, but Carrie informs her that she can’t always fix everything.

Once again, I would like to put in my petition for Carrie to be Finley’s new sponsor.

At the toxic relationship hotel, Angie wants to talk to Hendrix, but Hendrix wants to talk about how much the agent liked his book.

“I’m really happy for you, teach” Angie says, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

She wants to know if Hendrix is embarrassed of her, and I would like to remind her that in fact he would get fired if people found out they were dating, so it’s probably a little bigger than that.

Hendrix said that he got caught up in a big moment and lost his head. He’s not embarrassed of her, but he does wonder if they’re doing the right thing. Now that they’ve had sex, he’s won his conquest and is bored of her. Just kidding! He is falling for Angie and thinks it’s shortsighted to date her while she is still a student. 

I hate what’s happening, but I love the result, because they break up and Angie storms out of the hotel. 

Nicole Wilder/SHOWTIME.

Back at the party, Dre is doing a much better job of networking with Fletcher than they were with Sophie. They take a shot together and she encourages Dre to keep pursuing their dreams. 

After Dani comes over to bring Fletcher up to the stage, we find out from Dre that they got the card for Fletcher’s tour manager! Apparently their destiny is to leave this show “on tour” and never come back. Alas.

Dani asks how it went with Sophie, and Dre shares that Sophie kissed them. They have some witty banter about whether Dani’s annoyance is “professionally, or…” and Dani heads out to find Sophie as Fletcher launches into “Becky’s So Hot”.

Instead she finds Micah and Maribel, who she catches up on Sophie’s misadventures. The trio see Sophie across the pool bar, and it’s clear that she’s moved on from Dre. She’s dancing with red dress girl, and then they start to make out. You may have been excited for her, but don’t be for long. Michael runs over and shares that red dress girl is his wife, and he’s pissed, causing Sophie to fall into the pool.

Fletcher asks the music to cut as Sophie gets hauled out of the water by Dani, and I kind of love this. Fletcher’s concerts get stopped REPEATEDLY by girls passing out or starting fights, so she’s used to these types of intermissions. 

Tom and Alice are still trying to get the cat out of the vent system, and Alice is explaining the misunderstanding to Tom. These two are such good scene partners, I enjoy them together. 

Tom wants to know who Alice dated after Dana, and the answer is, of course Tasha!

Alice says “we don’t like Tasha, remember?” and I would like to argue with Alice on this point. We love Tasha! The only bad thing about her is her love of cops and the military! Other than that, she’s pretty much perfect!

Alice says that Tasha broke up with her when she was just starting to become successful and then proceeded to ghost her. I really do not think this is what happened, but to be honest my memory is a little blurry for the contents of that season. Someone please let me know in the comments.

The search for the kitten is over, and Tom pulls it out of the vent. It’s clear immediately that Alice is in love, and I can’t help but wonder if Alice’s “one” is Mr. Piddles, murdered by Tanya far too young. 

Outside of the party, Dani is calling Sophie an Uber. Sophie just wants to be left alone, but she’s not to be trusted after she kissed Dre. Dani finally admits to being into them, and at this point I start screaming at Sophie to tell her what Dre said about liking someone else. 

As Sophie crashes into the Uber, still drunk, she encourages Dani to “go get them” and I squeal. Sophie has such good friend chemistry with everyone (dani, finley) that I think maybe she should just date random extras until the end of this show’s run.

Nicole Wilder/SHOWTIME.

Dani goes inside to apologize to Fletcher, and Fletcher says the trailer quote: “It’s the kind of sapphic chaos I live for”. This appears to give Dani a revelation, because she looks around thoughtfully.

Carrie and Finley made it home through the dangerous parking lot and Finley managed to make a perfect lasagne. How many lasagne noodles does Carrie keep stocked! She must have had a groupon. 

Carrie is proud of her, and Finley thanks Carrie for how good she’s been to her. They’re so cute together! This baby butch just needed a role model. 

As Finley goes to plate the food, the doorbell rings and Carrie heads off to get it. It’s Misty! She came to return Carrie’s bowling bag, which Carrie intentionally left, but that wasn’t actually why Misty came, it was just an excuse to come over. She likes Carrie! She really likes Carrie! In fact, she was just worried because she isn’t used to being chased, but that’s perfect because Carrie doesn’t run.

Luckily, “the kid made a lasagne”, and Carrie invites her inside.

Angie went back to her dorm room early, and Bella is ready to hear all of the juicy deets. Yes, they had sex, but he also broke up with her. Bella comforts her, and I hope we never see Hendrix ever again.

Alice is in bed, and it turns out she did decide to keep the kitten. She brainstorms names, including “Piddles Jr.” and “Piddles II”, and asks if this little kitten is the One. She must have heard me musing on that earlier!

Finley lit a couple of candles and grabbed a slice of garlic bread before leaving to give Carrie and Misty their space. Then they kiss! Carrie and Misty kiss! I love them so much.

We end the episode with a montage of Micah and Maribel having their sloppy sex, Sophie apparently pulling it together enough to submit her documentary to the AFA, and Finley texting Sophie “thinking of you”, a text which Sophie heart reacts to. 

It looks like the night is going to end well for Finley, and then she sees that her mom is calling her and she walks out of the room, leaving her phone behind her. This kid really can’t catch a break! 

Lest you think we go another episode of The L Word: Generation Q with only straight people getting it on, we head back to Fletcher’s party for one last scene. Everyone has left except Dre, who is skinny dipping in the pool. 

Dani comes out to see them, and she pulls her clothes off and gets in as well. She doesn’t want anything serious, but luckily neither does Dre, because they have a situationship with their high school girlfriend. They’re single, but “shit with Brie is long and complicated”, which describes so many queer relationships. Dre leans in, and they kiss. Dre and Dani are both so incredibly hot that I am screaming. HOT HOT take, but I think this could be one of the hottest couples to ever grace our screens. 

And that’s the episode!