The following contains spoilers for Season 3 of Dead to Me on Netflix

Dead to Me, a buddy-comedy about two women who are united through a series of mostly accidental murders, has been beloved by fans since the jump. Judy Hale (Linda Cardellini) and Jen Harding (Christina Applegate) are the pinnacle of platonic romance. While they’ve had their ups and downs, throughout it they have each other’s backs, being there to give each other hugs and the emotional support each one need.

Before the season started filming, it was announced that this would be the show’s last. Not only was the plot coming to its natural conclusion, but midway through filming Christina Applegate was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a deadly autoimmune illness that acts by damaging the nerves. Despite no longer being able to walk without a cane, Applegate gave an awe-inspiring final performance where you would not notice her limitations unless you were aware of them in advance. Her talent and natural chemistry with Cardellini are the highlight of a show that I’ve grown to love with my whole heart.

This final season manages to pull together many of the open ends from the season before in a way that feels satisfying, while also opening new doors that kept the story fresh. On personal notes, Judy gets cervical cancer and Jen finds out that she’s pregnant. Neither of these is desired, and they each struggle to tell each other due to how sensitive it will be for the other. Jen’s mother died of cancer, and Judy was unable to ever have a child despite trying. Through it all, they struggle with their own grief while trying to be there for each other. It is remarkable how these two women, who could have easily become enemies, have chosen each other as life partners in light of their husbands’ deaths. They truly are meant to be together.

The way they uplift each other—talking over each other in moments of silly banter as they struggle to explain their hijinks, sitting next to each other on the couch after having separate breakdowns, even doing shrooms together—is without a doubt the best representation of friendship on TV that I have ever seen. The additional screen time for Agent Perez (Diana-Maria Riva) was truly delightful. She brought such a great energy to the screen and I love how her character has developed. Even Ben (James Marsden), who I dislike, and Michelle (Natalie Morales), who was only in a single episode, were electric in their performances and the way they brought out the best in their respective partners. I could go on and on about how much this show means to me, but there is a major issue that deserve their equal time on page.

While Judy and Jen each struggle, it is perpetually Judy who gets the short end of the stick. It is the bisexual woman who dies at the end. It is she who is unable to have children, and she who ultimately doesn’t have a romantic partner willing to be there. And, let me repeat, it is her that dies.

I recognize that the ending of this show is likely a tribute to Applegate’s own chronic illness, but it would be remiss of me not to mention the fact that with this ending, yet another show has fallen prey to the Bury Your Gays trope. This refers to the phenomena where gay characters are killed off immediately after (or immediately before) they receive their happy ending. While it is not quite as severe in this case given that Judy and Jen—platonic soulmates, but soulmates nonetheless—have gotten to spend nearly all three seasons together, it is still devastating to see another beloved queer woman character die.

Liz Feldman, the creator of Dead to Me, had an obligation to know her queer history if she was going to write a queer character. In doing so, she also had a responsibility to do right by the community. It is something that I’ve come to suspect in the wave of queer death and sapphic cancellations, especially from Netflix, but that doesn’t make it any easier of a bill to swallow.

I found this show immensely comforting from season 1 due to the unapologetic portrayal of close female friendships. It is regrettable that they had to tear that away with the ending, especially given how incredible the show was at creating unforced emotional moments throughout. If they wanted their tear-streaked ending, it was possible to do that through a simple conversation with (alive) Jen and Judy. The show already proved that this was possible throughout its run. When a show is that good at generating an emotional response, it’s a cop-out to end with a cliched death.

With all of that being said, I am in love with Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini, especially together in this show. My thoughts are with Applegate in her struggle with chronic illness, and I’m grateful for the joy it brought me. My only wish is that it ended any other way.