I, like many others, love the show Abbott Elementary (2021–present). I also love the format of “what your favorite ___ says about you” and have done this before (see: The Good Place). With that being said, I’m excited to use this format  again, with the seven main characters from Abbott Elementary.

Janine

You were an overachiever and teacher’s pet back in school, and you still hold on to some of those tendencies now. You love wearing bright colorful clothes, even when other people judge you for it. You are wise and self-aware, but sometimes still struggle to put your feelings into words. You try to be optimistic all the time and should allow yourself to take a deep breath and feel the difficult feelings, too. You probably love jigsaw puzzles and/or sudoku, and you will never pass up on the chance to have a game night. You care very deeply about other people, sometimes to your own detriment. 

Gregory

You are serious and have a hard time letting go and having fun. You are attractive and probably don’t know it. You find yourself exhausted around other people, but you find upbeat, high-energy people very calming somehow. You won’t admit to the fact you love the grumpy x sunshine trope, but wish you had that kind of dynamic with someone who could balance you out. You love to dance but seldom do it in public. You love to garden or love the idea of gardening. You hate when people are doing something incorrectly and you aren’t able to correct it. You are super thoughtful and actively listen to the people you love. 

Barbara

You probably have some religious trauma. You love to light candles constantly, and the way your home smells is very important to you. You have few friends but the ones you have, you would die for. You believe loyalty is an admirable quality. You love cardigans and having a manicure. You are the mom friend in your group, and people flock to you for advice. You love to buy scarves and jewelry, and like to look “put together”.

Melissa

You are the big sister to everyone around you. You aren’t necessarily nurturing in the traditional sense, but you care deeply about other people. You love comedy and constantly crack jokes. You love people who can match your energy. You don’t take any shit, but you still show up when people need you. You have a strained relationship with some family members, but if someone else is mean to them, you threaten to fight them. People often misread you, and it can get you down sometimes. 

Ava

You listen to a lot of pop divas, and have strong opinions on who the best one is. You are pretty up to date on trends and get told you “understand kids” more than other people your age. You can be a tad childish, but you have deep feelings and thoughts. If you are around people you trust, you let them see the real you. You have an incredible sense of style and love to try new things. You don’t want kids but you are (or want to be) a “cool aunt” figure to your friend’s children. You love to dance, especially around other people. You simultaneously love praise, but feel uncomfortable when you get it (even if you don’t show it). You spend hours scrolling through TikTok everyday. 

Jacob

You are constantly cringing at your past attempts to be an “ally”. You have good intentions but do not understand social cues. You are probably autistic. You love to read nonfiction and sometimes find yourself trying to one up other people when discussing the genre. You are kind of loud, and may not know it. You love a good sweater and listening to a podcast in the morning. You listen to NPR. You spend a lot of time on Twitter. If someone called Labrador retrievers overrated, you would get very upset. 

Mr. Johnson

You are incredibly funny. You are a sensitive soul but would probably get annoyed if someone pointed it out. You consume a lot of conspiracy content. You love the color blue and find it calming. You enjoy being included but often try to convince others you don’t want to be. You love suede furniture, and when looking at old tables and chairs, you find yourself saying “they don’t make things the way they used to.” You listen to a lot of R&B and secretly keep up with what the kids are listening to. You are a cat person. 

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