I often think of the “things that would kill a Victorian child” meme, despite it being popular nearly five years ago. Never one to be on time for a trend, I have decided to make a list of things that would make a Victorian child pass away, even if they only heard about them. I cannot explain my reasoning for any of the following—I just get the vibes. 

  1. Four Loko
  2. Coachella
  3. Burning Man
  4. Bang Energy Drinks
  5. “They’re Putting Chemicals in the Water That’ll Turn the Frickin’ Frogs Gay” clip
  6. Kum & Go
  7. The Taylor Swift Ticketmaster controversy
  8. True crime documentaries
  9. NFTs
  10. Auntie Anne’s Pretzels
  11. Hot Topic
  12. Best Buy during Black Friday
  13. Walmart
  14. Family vloggers
  15. Costco
  16. YouTube pranksters
  17. Reddit
  18. The Tide Pod Challenge
  19. Trader Joe’s
  20. Netflix
  21. Horror movies
  22. Windex
  23. Italian Greyhounds
  24. Sphynx Cats
  25. Family Guy
  26. South Park
  27. Robot Chicken
  28. The Nickelodeon show “Mr. Meaty” 
  29. Tesla Cars
  30. Clam Chowder
  31. Rice Krispie Treats
  32. Colleen Hoover novels
  33. The “TanaCon” disaster
  34. The “Laurel or Yanny” clip
  35. Amazon
  36. Porta Potties
  37. Shrek the Third
  38. Fanfiction
  39. Air conditioners 
  40. The “Sharknado” franchise
  41. Legalized cannabis 
  42. Fergie’s “Star Spangled Banner” performance
  43. The Real Housewives 
  44. HGTV
  45. Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi commercial
  46. Aldi Supermarket
  47. Roombas 
  48. Joe Rogan
  49. Elvis impersonators 
  50. Middle aged white women’s unhealthy obsession with The Beatles

What else do you think would kill a Victorian child? Let us know in the comments

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