I’m back again with another best of all time list for Pride month! This time, I’m going to be talking about the 20 best queer memoirs of all time. These memoirs oftentimes defy traditional narrative structure, mixing genres and infusing even the writing itself with a queerness just as palpable as that of the writers themselves.

Strong disclaimer that this list only includes books I’ve actually read, and is clearly influenced by my own lived experiences and preferences! From 2023 to 2024, I’ve doubled the number of books on the list, meaning that I’m listing 19 of the total 27 queer memoirs I’ve read.

The plan is to update this annually during pride month to allow for a living, breathing, ever changing document to the best queer nonfiction.

19. Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More

Author: Janet Mock

Release Date: February 4th, 2014

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It wasn’t until years after I first read this book that I realized how influential Janet Mock has been in the television industry. This memoir follows Mock on her path to figuring out her own gender identity, getting through college, and navigating a world that was stacked against her as a Black transgender woman. It is extremely eye opening while still being straightforwardly written and easy to understand.

18. I Can’t Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I’ve Put My Faith in Beyoncé

Author: Michael Arceneaux

Release Date: July 24th, 2018

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This book was, while sometimes dark, oftentimes hilarious. Told in a series of essays, Arceneaux lets us in on his life as a religious person growing up in Houston, Texas. This is the only book written by a man on this list, and I apologize for that! My own bias is incredibly strong in that regard, and it is something I hope to do better at in future iterations. This book talks about what it is like to be Black and queer in America (hard) and infuses each story with a unique and enjoyable sense of humor.

17. One Life

Author: Megan Rapinoe

Release Date: November 10th, 2020

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Of all of the books on this list, I predict One Life will receive the most pushback. It’s not the incredibly well-written, genre defining work that most of the other memoirs on this list are. In fact, it’s a simply autobiography written by someone who is still very much alive and in the prime of her life. Still, the way Rapinoe pushed boundaries in every area of her life, often facing consequences for it, makes it an important read for people today. Rapinoe is a great example of what it means to be uppercase Queer as opposed to just gay, and I appreciate the frank way she wrote about racial justice and queer liberation in her memoir.

16. Pageboy

Author: Elliot Page

Release Date: June 6th, 2023

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Elliot Page is almost definitely the most famous person on this list. The Juno star writes about his experiences navigating Hollywood both as a lesbian and as a trans man. I have so much respect for Page, and while this wasn’t my favorite memoir I ever read, it will certainly be interesting for fans of the actor.

15. Pansy

Author: Andrea Gibson

Release Date: March 15th, 2015

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Pansy is a memoir in poetry. While this format is unique, it worked particularly well for Gibson’s story about her gender, sexuality, and political activism. I cried on the train while reading this, which goes to show you its emotional resonance.

14. Broken Horses

Author: Brandi Carlile

Release Date: April 6th, 2021

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I don’t listen to much of Brandi Carlile’s music, but I do love her as a person. It’s cool to see someone who came from such a conservative background, especially an older person (compared to me!), and is now a voice for activism and being herself. Brandi certainly earned my respect after reading this.

13. All Boys Aren’t Blue

Author: George M Johnson

Release Date: April 28th, 2020

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I couldn’t find George M Johnson’s memoir on Bookshop, I apologize! Johnson is a current LGBTQ+ activist who used this story to break down the toxic masculinity that has affected him throughout his life.

12. Untamed

Author: Glennon Doyle

Release Date: March 10th, 2020

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Glennon Doyle is a memoirist known for putting everything about her relationships on display through her writing. She doesn’t hold back from frank discussions about sex, intimacy, or raising children. Given that Untamed was her first published book after divorcing her long-term husband and coming out as gay (getting into a relationship with soccer star Abby Wambach along the way) I was curious to see how that style would hold up. While this book still focuses at length of her relationship with her husband and her children, queer people will relate to the way Doyle explores her coming out process and becomes more secure in herself.

11. Zami: A New Spelling of My Name

Author: Audre Lorde

Release Date: January 1st, 1982

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This genre-bending memoir takes us into the early life of renowned Black feminist Audre Lorde. Dubbed a “biomythography”, Lorde expertly ties together historical legend and truth about her own life to form a cohesive story. This is the oldest book on the list by a significant margin, but I cannot see it ever losing its hold on Black, queer, or feminist young people. I read this book as my introduction to Lorde, but even if you have read all of her other pieces, you will get something new and worthwhile out of this memoir.

10. Beyond the Gender Binary

Author: Alok Vaid-Menon

Release Date: June 2nd, 2020

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Alok Vaid-Menon’s memoir is the shortest one on this list, so much so that I debated whether I should even include it. Pocket Change Collective is a group dedicated to sharing people’s stories in an easy to consume form, and this book did exactly that. It’s slightly more preachy than the other memoirs on this list, but I did enjoy hearing more about Alok’s opinions and who they are as a person.

9. We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir

Author: Samra Habib

Release Date: June 4th, 2019

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Samra Habib’s memoir is a beautiful story of being a queer Muslim Canadian immigrant. Her life was marked by being on the outside, but it was also changed by the love and acceptance she received throughout her life.

8. I’m Afraid of Men

Author: Vivek Shraya

Release Date: August 28th, 2018

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This short book by Vivek Shraya is about why Shraya is afraid of men and the ways masculinity has been imposed on her as a trans woman. Shraya does a great job of encouraging changes both to individuals and to society as a whole while sharing her own life stories.

7. Girls Can Kiss Now: Essays

Author: Jill Gutowitz

Release Date: March 8th, 2022

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Jill Gutowitz is a writer and internet personality who knows all about being a queer millennial. Given that it’s her whole brand online, she wrote about what her real life has been like through pop culture and personal anecdotes.

6. High School

Author: Tegan Quin and Sara Quin

Release Date: September 24th, 2019

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I adore Tegan and Sara for their musical abilities, but this book opened me up to just how cool they are as people. High School alternates perspectives to tell the story of what it was like growing up as a closeted, grunge loving, rave loving teen in the 90s. The story is incredibly relatable and gives deep insight into how the Quin sisters came to be. It also got turned into a TV show on Amazon Prime!

5. Hijab Butch Blues

Author: Lamya H

Release Date: February 7th, 2023

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While the title of this book is inspired by Stone Butch Blues, Lamya H’s Hijab Butch Blues is its own thing entirely. This book was a really beautiful story about what it’s like to grow up as a queer hijabi immigrant. When I started reading this book, I couldn’t stop.

4. We Were Witches

Author: Ariel Gore

Release Date: September 5th, 2017

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If there’s any book on this list for which I am desperately due a reread, it is this one. I read We Were Witches in 2019 and remember it as a deeply poetic, beautiful feminist and queer memoir that changed the way I looked at my own writing and what I wanted to accomplish in the world. Gore, a single mother, told her personal story in a way that intertwined with feminist narrative so completely that it’s nearly impossible to separate one from the other.

3. The Argonauts

Author: Maggie Nelson

Release Date: May 5th, 2015

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This book is small, but it’s mighty. Maggie Nelson writes in such an unconventional and beautiful way that you cannot help but be swept up in the world she outlined on the page. Nelson tells us the story of dating her gender fluid partner Harry Dodge, having a child, and creating her queer family. Along the way, she includes quotes from famous feminists and writers. These lines are seamlessly integrated to make it seem almost like Nelson’s journal entry rather than a memoir, if anyone could write so beautifully in a journal.

2. Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir

Author: Akwaeke Emezi

Release Date: June 8th, 2021

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Akwaeke Emezi is not a human. They are a god. In Dear Senthuran, Emezi writes a series of letters to their friends, family, and creative inspirations. Through each letter, they tell us as readers more about their personal life and what it was like to grow up as gender non-conforming and blossom into the incredible writer that we know them as today. Emezi always had complete confidence in themselves—as a writer and as a person—and that confidence shines through this collection of essays.

1. Pretty Baby: A Memoir

Author: Chris Belcher

Release Date: July 12th, 2022

Find the Book: Goodreads | StoryGraph | Bookshop | Review

Pretty Baby has quickly become one of my favorite memoirs of all time, and most definitely my favorite memoir written by a queer person. The universal experience of queerness was mixed with much more specific experiences that made Belcher who she is today. I found this book immensely powerful and would recommend it to anyone, but especially to people who are coming to terms with their sexuality in a complicated world, and want to see an example of someone discovering their lesbianism and then feeling confident embodying it.

What are your favorite queer memoirs?