At the start of this month, BBC Three released their newest Love Island-style TV series—I Kissed a Girl. Dannii Minogue’s reality TV show comes off the success of the very similar I Kissed a Boy that aired at this time last year. The premise is simple: throw a bunch of singles in a villa (sorry, I mean Masseria) and see what happens. For 2024, all of our hotties are queer women! So, of course, I’ve been watching.

After a Love Island producer famously claimed that a queer version of their show wouldn’t work, BBC took it as a challenge and reworked nearly the same exact format for queer girlies. When the women first come in, they’re already paired up and must kiss their matches before introducing themselves. This part is a bit odd, but after that it settles into the classic group dating format we know and love so well. The only difference is that rather than having one gender pick their new partner at the end of each week, it’s a mutual decision where they must both turn around at the same time with their choice.

Of course, since this is a lesbian dating show I will be providing you with The Chart for each of the episodes that has premiered thus far alongside my review.

There will be spoilers for episodes 1-4 below this point! Beware!

The show started with 10 singles paired into 5 matches, but even by the end of episode 1 we were already getting drama, thanks in large part to Fiorenza, whose style can be adequately described as “hey mammas”. As one could expect, there’s been some settling in from other couples, but both Fiorenza and Amy manage to bring the drama and keep things interesting. The show is working and we haven’t even added anyone to the mix yet!

Of course, we also have the classic lesbian couple Cara and Georgia, who start holding hands immediately and don’t let go the entire episode. I’m obsessed with them.

My only criticism of this episode is that there was a discussion where white people identified as “stem” lesbians. Stem is a combination of the words stud and femme, and can only apply to Black lesbians because “stud” is an exclusively Black lesbian term. If you are a white lesbian you can be “futch” or “girlypop masc” or something else, I don’t know, pick a different label!

By episode 2, they have decided to bring a bombshell into the Masseria—Eva, a tall masculine lesbian who looks a whole lot like G-Flip. She obviously gets a whole ton of attention, and that’s perfect because we’re headed into our first match up ceremony. In I Kissed a Girl, we call these “kiss offs”, which makes it sound like a kissing competition but is most definitely not.

Fiorenza and Meg have broken out of their original couples to hang out solely with each other, and by the end of the episode Amy is hanging out with Eva. Eva is torn between Meg and Amy, but Meg is caught up on Fiorenza, so it’s not looking great for her.

The whole episode, Naee (who is the hottest girl there, in my opinion) is trying to play both sides between her initial match Priya and Demi. Demi has never hooked up with or dated a girl before, having recently discovered her sexuality, and she’s a fish out of water amongst the rest of the cast. Naee clearly likes the challenge of “teaching” a girl about lesbianism, but like she said, Priya is wifey material. A tough call that will cliffhanger us until the next episode!

We finish the previous Kiss Off at the top of this episode, and the results are pretty much what you’d expect. Everyone pairs up with their initial match except Fiorenza who chooses Meg, and Amy who chooses Eva. That sends Demi packing, which is honestly for the best. Girlie was cute but she was not ready to be a Professional Lesbian, and now she can go home and be the coolest girl in town when this show airs.

For all of episode 3, Fiorenza is a bit pouty about her lack of deep connection with Meg. She’s just a softy who wants to be loved! The editors juxtapose this with Eva and Meg having deep conversations pretty much the entire time. Something is brewing here, but not that much happens in the episode itself.

And that brings us to episode 4, where the most shakeups happen. Amy and Fiorenza have been best buds all week, but suddenly they realize they might have feelings for each other and while they don’t kiss, they confess their crushes and exchange even more flirty banter than they were previously.

And that’s when three new girls come in! Lailah, Beth, and Em are asked to each take a girl out on a date without knowing any of the dynamics first. Lailah chooses Cara, Beth chooses Fiorenza, and Em chooses Abbie.

Amy is, of course, devastated by this turn of events! She doesn’t want anything to come between her and Fiorenza, but of course it does. Fi is smitten by new girl Beth, and she kisses her on the date, singling a premature end to Fimy.

Em and Abbie go on their date amidst semi-chaos in Abbie and Lisha’s relationship. Lisha has become close with Meg, and the two of them are incredibly touchy and flirty. Lisha says that nothing’s happening there and that they’re buddies, but Abbie doesn’t really believe them. The two of them are that one couple who’s always fighting and making things awkward while insisting that they’re meant to be together. I was hoping all of this would break them up, but alas it did not and Em seems to have gotten sidelined completely. Odds are she’s going home next episode, which sucks!

Lailah is a footballer just like Georgia, and now she’s taking Georgia’s girl on a date! Oopsies! Unfortunately for her, Cara is giving friend vibes only and when they get back from their date, Georgia confesses her true feelings. It’s so cute! I love them!

They seem the most solid couple to me, but not to the rest of the cast, who votes Priya and Naee as the most compatible couple. They’re going to have to do ~something~ with that power, but we’ll find out after the Kiss Off, which is how we end off the episode.

With Cara not working out, Lailah gets to know Amy, who has been described as a quirky weirdo redhead in cowboy boots. Lailah likes the vibes, and Amy—who exclusively talks about her desire for femme 4 femme romance despite kissing Meg, matching with Eva, and liking Fiorenza—decides the banter is good enough that she’ll give this moderately femme woman a chance. I really like Lailah, but to be honest Amy is probably moving on again soon!

That leaves us with our current chart:

Are you watching I Kissed a Girl? What are your thoughts?